one day

Each day is hard.
Passing time through music, videos, and movies is easy
but focusing on school takes all I have.
Planning for the future doesn’t work out
I don’t have dreams, goals, or ambitions at all.
Why do I feel so empty?
I used to think it was okay to ignore personal issues and just focus on school or work but why are my emotions so strong?
I just want to cry, and cry, and cry.
There is not much I enjoy in my city, then again I haven’t cared to experience it.
My dream place? Somewhere warm, with trails I could explore and mountains I could hike. Someplace quiet, without all the fake lights.
When I imagine this place, there are no other people besides myself. Which I find strange, because a place like this would be perfect with a few others.
That is when I realize that this place is a dream and I can’t escape my reality. I have pushed away all my friends and cut ties with them.
I don’t have a will to live, but I don’t have confidence to stop it either.
I’m surrounded by too many, I have younger siblings. It would be selfish.
And though I hate this life, that is not how I want to be remembered.
So, I’ll try harder.
One day I will be truly happy.